am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
