I have demons in me.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
