I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just googled if crying burns calories
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
