do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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