I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
