what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
