Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
