guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Randomize
