Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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