If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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