We're like a lot better than the average bears
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize