Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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