There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
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she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
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At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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