I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
