In the future we'll all be gay
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
