i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
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I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
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THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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