I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
All the doctor said was why
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
