you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
