his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i dont even know how to be here
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
