Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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