Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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