Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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