I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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