it was like eating out sand paper
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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