We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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