READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
