So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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