Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
