Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You left your phone here
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