I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
