Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
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Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
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At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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