no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
