Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
