There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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