youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I intend to get homeless drunk
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize