She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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