Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
