Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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