Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
