Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
