I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
