Will you blow on my dice?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He shit in the fireplace
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
