They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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