So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize