I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize