i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
