just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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