Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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