What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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