Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
