Me. At least after what I've been through.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
