She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
