Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Help. Why am I so naked?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize