Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
