My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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