Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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