ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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