No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
