The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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