I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
A+ Viking dick
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
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