why im i the only drunk person in the library?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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