how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
