I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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