DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
