Your mouth is God's brothel.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm both gender and math confused
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
