My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
