It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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