My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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