Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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