Say something about gay babies.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
