oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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