Texts From Last Night

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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes

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  (931): I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes http://tfl.nu/c6hz
  Replies (17) Good night (917) Bad night (1959)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  my lips still taste like vagina

  (1-740): View more from Ohio

  so you liked breakfast?

  (740): View more from Ohio

  ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead

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  (740): my lips still taste like vagina (1-740): so you liked breakfast? (740): ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead http://tfl.nu/odt6
  Replies (18) Good night (3247) Bad night (1108)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.

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  (417): Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass. http://tfl.nu/mz6y
  Replies (8) Good night (927) Bad night (2234)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.

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  (703): I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking. http://tfl.nu/6jrt
  Replies (146) Good night (4507) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.

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  (520): while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE. http://tfl.nu/b4l7
  Replies (25) Good night (4249) Bad night (1214)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted

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  (415): Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted http://tfl.nu/ojyr
  Replies (6) Good night (3473) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  You coming home soon, man?

  (1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  HENBARSCLOSE

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  (902): You coming home soon, man? (1-902): HENBARSCLOSE http://tfl.nu/z787
  Replies (7) Good night (3977) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.

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  (603): I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad. http://tfl.nu/5dfv
  Replies (12) Good night (1219) Bad night (3927)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack

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  (541): ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack http://tfl.nu/jnxf
  Replies (7) Good night (877) Bad night (1404)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro

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  (902): Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro http://tfl.nu/z3ei
  Replies (10) Good night (2948) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.

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  (580): Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward. http://tfl.nu/95e7
  Replies (4) Good night (1534) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES

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  (604): We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES http://tfl.nu/h0lt
  Replies (1) Good night (1229) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)

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  (818): Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now) http://tfl.nu/gh6j
  Replies (23) Good night (674) Bad night (1123)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on

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  (719): I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on http://tfl.nu/1fwc
  Replies (5) Good night (1490) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.

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  (707): Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful. http://tfl.nu/xs64
  Replies (2) Good night (353) Bad night (143)

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