just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck