I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
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