Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  wrigley field is MILF paradise

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  (317): wrigley field is MILF paradise http://tfl.nu/g3u8
  Replies (6) Good night (1433) Bad night (542)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again

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  (508): Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again http://tfl.nu/g8s7
  Replies (39) Good night (3019) Bad night (734)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.

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  (608): I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay. http://tfl.nu/ttff
  Replies (4) Good night (878) Bad night (2345)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.

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  (828): there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not. http://tfl.nu/i6ea
  Replies (96) Good night (1473) Bad night (4680)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.

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  (610): I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs. http://tfl.nu/uj0s
  Replies (19) Good night (7400) Bad night (1272)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.

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  (604): After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me. http://tfl.nu/m19j
  Replies (5) Good night (1704) Bad night (762)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.

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  (815): I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room. http://tfl.nu/691w
  Replies (5) Good night (1412) Bad night (927)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.

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  (501): If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame. http://tfl.nu/x1of
  Replies (16) Good night (934) Bad night (1977)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover

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  (734): I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover http://tfl.nu/93w3
  Replies (1) Good night (1277) Bad night (598)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison

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  (864): Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison http://tfl.nu/9c49
  Replies (2) Good night (1055) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."

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  (734): Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed? (734): You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it." http://tfl.nu/yuio
  Replies (4) Good night (1136) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?

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  (203): He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem? http://tfl.nu/53aj
  Replies (10) Good night (455) Bad night (1146)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"

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  (814): He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe. (814): All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins" http://tfl.nu/wnoe
  Replies (1) Good night (884) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (+35): View more from

  I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.

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  (+35): I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting. http://tfl.nu/tgle
  Replies (0) Good night (571) Bad night (220)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy

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  (613): I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy http://tfl.nu/09ti
  Replies (1) Good night (662) Bad night (224)

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