Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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